Hearing God

What is required to hear God?

For me this means coming apart and foresaking the spirit of this world.  God has always spoken to me and called out to me throughout this life. Even as a girl and with deep longings as a teenager.  But, for years I was blinded by Satan, the god of this world, and seduced by the spirit of this world.  Believing this world is all we have, and what we can see is all that exists.  Denying the existence of God.  I lived a life without God and without hope in this world.  My husband and I were successful in small business and I had no time, nor interest in God.

Then, one year, it all changed.  I was diagnosed with an extremely aggressive form of breast cancer.  It was the most aggressive type of breast cancer, the premenopausal, estrogen receptor negative, with cancer dna.  The type that kills the young ladies in their prime and robs their children of their mothers. I could feel inside I was extremely ill, and always had an intuitive knowledge that my body was dying at the time.  Even at the diagnosis I did not ask Jesus to get me to heaven some day.

 The doctors did not mess around.  They gave me 2 surgeries, an extremely aggressive and high dose end all shot of chemo that lasted about a year.  Plus full radiation.  The poison of chemo dragged me down to my knees, rendered me without any vestiges of energy or physical well being.  It laid me literally on my back, for months... dragging on for years it seems.  When a person is laying in bed dying a long, slow death is a good time to start talking to God.  That's what I did.

In a sense I could finally hear Him calling me to come to Him.  Although it was He Who chose me, I did not chose Jesus.  When this world had eaten me alive and spit me out my Savior came to me by His Spirit, His love.  He came to me, His broken, dying sheep.  Wood by Jesus' call I said to Him, "If You are real, just get me to heaven and get my family there someday too."  At that very moment all terrifying fear of death left me.  Instead of being consumed by the fear of death, Jesus took that fear off of me.  Just like Scripture says.  Therefore, since the children have flesh and blood, he himself also shared the same things, so that by his death he might destroy the one who has the power of death (that is, the devil) and might free those who were slaves all their lives because they were terrified by death.  (Heb. 2:14,15 ISV)

After that the cancer came back in my liver, terminal cancer.  All of man's hideous cancer "treatments" had done nothing to help me physically.  Then, I received prayer.  The man of God told me that Jesus was going to heal me.  And in a moment, a miracle of mercy Jesus healed me.  It was as if heaven opened, and Jesus reached down and touched right above the top of my head.  All of a sudden a living hope, a wave of God's healing power, His Spirit flowed through me.  Jesus had mercy on my family.  He blew cancer out and blew life back in.